WHY KHADIJA OPENED HER HEART TO MUHAMMAD

Translated into English by Dr. Maxwell Shimba, Shimba Theological Institute

“Can Muhammad truly marry me?” wondered Lady Khadija, an elderly woman who had already lost her teeth. After thinking for a long time, Khadija (Radhiya Llahu ‘anha) reached the decision to express to Muhammad the affection she had for him. “Even though this feels like a dream, it is still possible,” she thought. “But who can deliver my request to him? And will Muhammad accept me despite my old age?” she whispered to herself with concern.

As she was lost in these thoughts, there was a knock at the door.

“Who is knocking?”
“It is I, your sister Halah.”

Khadija welcomed her sister:

“Ahlan wa sahlan, welcome Halah.”

Halah replied,
“Thank you, Khadija. How are you all doing?”

Khadija said,
“We are fine, but this sudden visit surprises me.”

Halah responded,
“I simply came to check on you.”

Khadija looked at her intently,
“To check on me only? You sound unusual today. Are you hiding something from me?”

Halah observed her sister carefully and said:
“Not at all. I am hiding nothing. It’s just that earlier today I fell asleep and dreamt of you walking as though you were lost in a dark path, and behind you a voice kept saying, ‘Go forward, go forward.’ I felt I should come and check on you, though I do not know the meaning of the dream.”

Lady Khadija smiled slightly and said,
“The truth is, I have been deeply troubled in my thoughts these days.”

Halah asked,
“What are you thinking about? You live in such abundance and comfort.”

Khadija replied,
“I am thinking about Muhammad, my sister. I think about his qualities and his charm—none among the Quraysh men can match him.”

Halah asked,
“And where do these thoughts lead you?”

Khadija answered,
“I want him to marry me.”

Halah said,
“Then ask him to marry you.”

Lady Khadija responded timidly,
“I fear he might reject me because of my old age. He is young, and I am old.”

Halah encouraged her:
“You too, my sister, are a woman of wealth and great respect.”

Khadija replied,
“But look at my age. I have been married twice already, while he is a young man of twenty–five who has never married. How would Muhammad accept to marry a woman nearly the age of his mother, who has married twice before, and who has children?”

Halah asked,
“And who first told you about Muhammad, enough for you to trust him with your wealth for business?”

Khadija answered,
“My friend Nafisa.”

Halah said,
“Then let that same Nafisa present your request to him.”

She then bid farewell to her sister and left.

---

Given that Muhammad was an orphan who lived under the care of various people, it is clear his life lacked stability. Undoubtedly, like any young man, he would long for a permanent home. For this reason, the request of the elderly, wealthy toothless Khadija appeared to him as an opportunity.

Muhammad found no alternative but to accept the proposal of the wealthy elderly woman. Yet in his heart, there was always a certain inclination. When we look at Sahih Bukhari, Volume 3, Book 34, Number 310, we find that one day Muhammad asked Jarir ibn Abdullah:

“Have you got married?”
He replied: “Yes.”
Muhammad asked: “A virgin or a matron?”
He answered: “I married a matron.”
Muhammad said: “Why did you not marry a virgin, so you may play with her and she may play with you?”

Meaning:

“You married?”
“Yes.”
“A virgin or an older woman?”
“An older woman.”
“Why did you not marry a virgin who would play with you and you play with her?”

What does this imply?

It implies that Muhammad’s marriage to Khadija, the elderly toothless woman, was not out of deep affection or desire. Rather, life circumstances compelled him to accept her. Muhammad preferred young girls—those he could “play with” and who could “play with him.”

This is why the death of Khadija created a rare opportunity—an opportunity he had long desired—to marry little girls such as Aisha, who was only six years old.

---

Questions for Reflection

(i) Why did Muhammad not have genuine affection for Lady Khadija?
(ii) Why was Muhammad drawn to Khadija’s wealth?
(iii) Did Muhammad benefit from Khadija’s death in order to fulfill his desire to marry little girls?
(iv) Why was Muhammad only able to marry many women after Khadija died?

---